It's my blog and I'll cry if I want to

I was thinking about my blog last night and it occurred to me that sometimes when I want to blog my feelings I am holding back. Then I thought how stupid that was, it is my place to express myself and if someone reads it that is their business but the contents of my blog are my business. I don't have the opportunity to share my emotions much so I will allow them to be free here and if I get soppy then tough, that is just who I am!

Moving on, you may recall I mentioned a poem my mum sent me, I am ready to share it now. This could very easily be me talking as I feel the same things as written below. I do put up a barrier and try not to think about the people I love when they are not close to me, this includes my mum and my man who is working away at the moment. I love these people even though I dont send messages or emails every half an hour. If I did I would not be able to function at all as I would be too emotional and that is no way to live right! anyway, here is what made me cry so last week........... 

It’s often hard to say the things you really want to say
We smile, we laugh and life goes on in a superficial way
But deep inside are all life’s pains kept hidden safe from view
of prying eyes so no one asks if I ever think of you.
 
For who can imagine the pain I feel at birthdays we can’t share
Or the Christmas celebrations when you cannot be there
I often bring you to my mind and imagine what you’d say
about all the fuss I like to make on these very special days
 
At Christmas time I place the lights and trinkets on the tree
And remember all the fun we had when you were here with me
I love to shop for special gifts to place beneath the tree
But there’s always one gift missing, the one for you from me

Though memories can be bitter sweet, they’re treasured one and all
And sometimes when they’re shared with friends, the tears begin to fall
My voice breaks up and my heart will ache when certain songs are played
But it’s all become part of the life I have to live each day

It’s often hard to say the things you really want to say
We smile, we laugh and life goes on in a superficial way
But never doubt the love and pride I feel deep in my heart
I think of you each and every day since we have been apart

Linda 23/4/2004